Calphalon Customer Service: Underwhelmed

I'm afraid this post falls into the "ultra-self indulgent" category--complaining about the customer service for high-end cooking gear. Especially after seeing the Mark Bittman Minimalist (New York Times) article on how to equip your kitchen adequately for $200 (it involves restaurant supply stores, plastic handle knives, and restaurant-style pots & pans; see note below). But there's some information in this post that I hope others might find useful and informative. Also, it's always fun to engage in kitchen geekery.

I have owned a bunch of Calphalon Commercial Nonstick pans starting in 2004, but recently, I noticed that the oldest one that received the most use (10" omelette pan) has lost much of its nonstickiness. I was surprised to research that Calphalon has a lifetime warranty on their products--it seems like a poor business decision to implement for nonstick pans. I sent in an email inquiry, and received this response:

Thank you for contacting Calphalon. The sticking that you are experiencing is generally due to a residue that has formed on your non-stick surface. In order for the pan to perform correctly, please try to clean the surface with Soft Scrub brand cleaner and a blue Scotch Brite pad. When finished, please follow up with your normal hand washing. If this cleaning method does not restore the non-stick ability to the cookware, we would recommend sending your item in for warranty evaluation.

Huh.. interesting. Using a blue scrubby? On Teflon? Eek... it goes against all of my nonstick instincts. Okay, here it goes...


Scrub scrub scrub...


Ewwwww....

The omelette test showed some improvement, but that nonstick mojo has definitely departed:


So... into the mail it went. A few weeks later, I received a new Contemporary Nonstick 10 Inch Omelette Pan. I immediately noticed the difference in heft--nowhere near the metal thickness of my old pan; it felt close to big-box-generic-nonstick weight levels. It's probably a decent pan, but nowhere near what I sent in.

I wrote them a moderately irate email:

Unfortunately, I have to say that I am not very satisfied with this replacement. Picking up the pan, the difference in weight (thickness of the aluminum) is very clear; it seems like a cheaper and lower quality pan than what I sent in.

To be specific, an online search (on froogle.com) for a Calphalon Contemporary Nonstick 10" Omelette Pan gives results of $30-40, including major retailers such as Amazon.com and Linens n Things. In contrast, I have the receipt for my smaller 8" Calphalon Commercial Nonstick Omelette Pan from 2004, for $45 ($48 in 2006 dollars), so I am sure I paid more for a 10" Commercial Nonstick Omelette Pan.

I have to admit that I was reluctant to send this complaint, but to be honest, if I had known the replacement item in advance, I would have sent my original pan to a recoating service. I assume that my original pan has been recycled or is otherwise not returnable; please let me know if it can be returned. I can mail the replacement pan back to you if this would simplify the process; I have not used it yet.

I'd like to suggest that in the future, you let customers know what the replacement item will be, so they can choose this item, or perhaps a prorated refund of their original purchase.

To my surprise, I actually got a phone call back from Calphalon customer service. He claimed that the Calphalon Contemporary Nonstick line is a replacement for the Commercial Nonstick line, and that the $30 is a "promotional" price, compared to a MSRP of $70. I have doubts about this, considering that the 10" & 12" combo is $50 at Amazon. But I didn't think there was much point to pursuing this any further.

It's worth checking out that Calphalon has four nonstick product lines now: the Contemporary Nonstick (what I got) is their second-from-top line. I have a Calphalon One (top line) Chef's Pan (via eBay); it seems close in heft to my old Commercial Nonstick. I have to wonder if the reason behind the multiple products lines was a business decision along the lines of: "We have the liability of how many nonstick pans out there with lifetime warranties? Aw crap... who the hell made that decision?! How do we minimize the damage?"

In the future, I'd be interested in trying out one of the nonstick pan recoating services like FryPan Man ("Saving our landfills, one discarded pan at a time!")--Leper had some pans that he sent in for recoating, and they were pretty nice.

Final note--that Mark Bittman Minimalist article mentioned above is now subscriber-only; let me know if you want the PDF. It's a pretty good read--after, all those fancy restaurant meals are probably prepped by guys with $10 plastic-handled knives. Bittman wrapped up the article with "The Inessentials: you can live without these 10 kitchen items":

BREAD MACHINE -- You can buy mediocre bread easily enough, or make the real thing without much practice.
MICROWAVE -- If you do a lot of reheating or fast (and damaging) defrosting, you may want one. But essential? No. And think about that counter space!
STAND MIXER -- Unless you're a baking fanatic, it takes up too much room to justify it. A good whisk or a crummy handheld mixer will do fine.
BONING/FILLETING KNIVES -- Really? You're a butcher now? Or a fishmonger? If so, go ahead, by all means. But I haven't used my boning knife in years. (It's pretty, though.)
WOK -- Counterproductive without a good wok station equipped with a high-B.T.U. burner. (There's a nice setup at Bowery Restaurant Supply for $1,400 if you have the cash and the space.)
STOCKPOT -- The pot you use for boiling pasta will suffice, until you start making gallons of stock at a time.
PRESSURE COOKER -- It's useful, but do you need one? No.
ANYTHING MADE OF COPPER -- More trouble than it's worth, unless you have a pine-paneled wall you want to decorate.
RICE COOKER -- Yes, if you eat rice twice daily. Otherwise, no.
COUNTERTOP CONVECTION OVEN, ROTISSERIE, OR ''ROASTER'' -- Only if you're a sucker for latenight cooking infomercials.

I've been living with a stripped-down kitchen setup for four months; I think I can respond to most of these with some authority. I agree with most of these points, but disagree with:

Microwave: essential for leftovers, and I use it often for quickly cooking vegetables to incorporate into dishes (broccoli, califlower, potatoes). And I have pontificated that having a microwave on a kitchen counter is a painful waste of space.

Rice cooker: I love my ricebot, and consider it a massive timesaver--it is "fire and forget" ricemaking, even if I cook rice once or twice a week. Probably an Asian thing--every household has one.

But I have to admit he's right on boning knives--I own a very nice Wusthof Trident boning knife, and I can't remember the last time I used it.