DIY Biohazard Remediation

S. is going away for two weeks for a business trip to Europe, so while I was at her place this weekend, I took it upon myself to clear out the perishable items that wouldn't last the trip. It started out innocuously enough... here's a slightly soft red pepper that I can cook tomorrow... a bag of Brussels sprouts, and some grapes. A plastic bag with... uh... three-week old restaurant leftovers. Fair enough; she's been slammed for the past few weeks.

Then I started digging through the deeper parts of the shelves. And checking the dates on the package. For example... Egg Beaters from August 2009? Uhhh.. whuuuuh....

Wow... I didn't realize that you could make-your-own Craisins. But with a bag of cranberries, undisturbed refrigerator storage, and enough patience... voila!

And on this shelf... yogurt from January 2009? Aieee!

But the winner was when I picked up a half-carton of eggs.... and they felt... well, way too light. I took out an egg, and it felt hollow. Nope... no holes in the eggshell. Don't tell me that these eggs actually evaporated away through their shells?!? Let's check the date... May 2009?!?! Oh no, sweetie.... [facepalm]

I had to admit that I was incredibly curious, so I had to (cautiously) crack one open. It appears that the white had completely evaporated, and that the yolk (which contains fat) was frozen.

Anyway, I made dinner tonight using those "fridge saves" (red pepper and Brussels sprouts). But as for the rest... well, let's just say that the garbage disposal and my compost bin ate well this weekend.

For the record, I am officially putting A. and JMD on notice--you are no longer in the running for worst fridge management results among my circle of friends.

Oh, and in case any of you were wondering--S. and I had a huge laugh over all of this. I was hesitant to blog this, but she said that I definitely should... I hope that you might share this laugh with us.


At 12:04 AM, Blogger Daniele said...

*laugh* out loud.. you guys are TOO CUTE!

At 2:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've heard that genuine Ukranian Easter Eggs are normal, uncooked eggs elaborately decorated and left to dry out over time. Guess it works!

Family Story of Legend:

When my sister Anne first visited B & opened the fridge, she found a mostly empty bachelor wasteland: vodka, pizza box, and... kiwi fruit!

Anne: "What the hell, B? Kiwi fruit?!"
B: "Anne, those are limes."


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