2007-01-01

New Year Update

Happy New Year everyone! Just a brief catch-up post before I leave for Canada tomorrow. Gah... dialup... hate... hate...

Hanging out in New York City was great; I got to see Air Force Guy (Doug) and his wife (‘Stina), on the day they were moving up to Boston. Went to lunch and MoMA with Perlick and Probe (but not ‘Becca and their baby Sophia). Picture below is the crowd hovering in front of Dali’s The Persistence of Memory--I figured it wasn’t worthwhile to fight my way through, so that was as close as I got.


And finally, I saw a bunch of folks at the Power Dinner at Hallo Berlin (German beer hall restaurant in The Neighborhood Formerly Known as Hell’s Kitchen, see note). Many thanks to all of you who made it out! (and great meeting many of you for the first time!)


Note: In case you’re curious, the neighborhood is sometimes called Clinton, post-gentrification. Wikipedia notes: The Clinton name originated in 1959 in an attempt to link the name to the DeWitt Clinton Park at 52nd and 11th Avenue.... Today, most residents of the area, and most New Yorkers in general, refer to the area as "Hell's Kitchen," with "Clinton" being the name favored by the municipality, "gentrifiers," and eager real estate agents. The park is named after Governor DeWitt Clinton, of Erie Canal fame.

Nope, the report’s still not done. Unfortunately, I am still finding things on Long Island to keep myself busy instead of writing: downloading and printing the manual for my dad’s new electric razor (“You can get manuals from the web?” “Um… yeah dad.”), blogging, moving the exercise bicycle up from the basement, installing a three-prong electrical outlet for the new fridge, buying/installing new windshield wipers for my parents’ car, and removing mineral buildup around the bathroom faucets with CLR and a toothbrush. Yeah, working hard at this punting thing.

I totally lamed out on any New Year’s plans; I had an invite to hang out with Perlick and his NYC crowd. So while they went and partied like rock stars (at least for sufficiently large values of ‘rock star’), I just stayed out on Long Island and recharged my batteries.


Okay, yeah, that was terrible. But basically, this is how I rang in the New Year:


“2007. Yay.”

Anyway, one last family anecdote: I informed my family that I am going to be staying with JMD when I return to Boston. My folks fail to remember most of my friends; she appears to be no exception. JMD met my sister while living at Tep over the summer: she was blasted out of bed by my sister coming to use my turntable to play some opera at 9 AM. My sister’s memory of the event: “Oh, you had a roommate with red hair, right?”

So the conversation with my parents was a bit interrogation-like:

“The apartment is in Arlington. It’s a duplex; the landlords live in the other half.”

“She has four cats. One of them is an antisocial feral that nobody ever touches.”

“Her brother is a Tep. He’s the one that I usually celebrate Thanksgiving with—him and his wife and family.”

“She lives by herself; she’s not married.”


At that, you could pretty much hear the cooling fans of my parents’ brains kick in:


So, do my readers have any good/creative ideas on How To Mess With My Folks along these lines?

9 Comments:

At 6:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tricky! Normally I'd suggest alluding to something highly deviant like being the concierge for her high-end S&M business, but I don't think they'd understand even if you came right out and said it.

Hmm. I guess you could say that you had a "business relationship" with her, and then refuse to give any details...

 
At 6:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

We didn't party like rock stars, alas. Ended up just hanging at Nate's place watching TV and drinking champagne. Pretty much anti-rockstar.

 
At 7:23 PM, Blogger Bats said...

JMD and I were trying to come up with an idea with pregnancy involved. Like her putting a pillow under her shirt when my folks ever came to visit. Possibly spinning a yarn about being pregnant with the love child of 2 gay friends or something--"Surrogacy is just such a fulfilling thing to do...."

 
At 3:16 PM, Blogger Jenn Steele said...

I assume that just having her answer your cell phone when they call would be too subtle? And say you're in the shower?

Maybe it's only my parents who can misconstrue anything...

 
At 4:32 PM, Blogger Jofish said...

MARRY JMD!

Easy.

Damn, I'm good.

 
At 7:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do you really think that your parents will need any help getting confused?

[hey, at least you were awake for New Year's...]

 
At 7:48 PM, Blogger Bats said...

I assume that just having her answer your cell phone when they call would be too subtle?

"I'm sorry, but K's not in his pants right now, can I take a message?"

Heh. Unfortunately, that might not work--I think they would just end up puzzled.

 
At 11:27 PM, Blogger Bats said...

MARRY JMD! Easy.

To borrow the line from my former boss/mentor, JMD and I are already pretty much like an old married couple already--we argue all the time and don't have sex.

Hrm... that feels a bit like oversharing for some reason, even though it ought not to.

 
At 11:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

More a test as to whether it is worth even trying to mess with them:

Tell them she's a FURF. If they don't inquire about what a FURF is, give up. If they do, then you still have a chance to mess with them.

 

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